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What it means to be Irish


  • You will never play professional basketball.


  • You swear very well.


  • At least one of your cousins holds political office.


  • You think you sing very well.


  • You have no idea how to make a long story short


  • You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.


  • There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.


  • Much of your food was boiled.


  • You have never hit your head on the ceiling.


  • You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.


  • You're strangely poetic after a few beers.


  • You're, therefore, poetic a lot.


  • You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.


  • Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.


  • Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.


  • Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary ... and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.


  • Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.


  • You don't know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.


  • You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.


  • "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge".


  • You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.


  • There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.


  • You are, or know someone, named "Murph".


  • If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.


  • You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.


  • Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.


  • And last but not least...,being Irish means... that your attention span is so short that ---oh, forget it.



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