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What it means to be Irish

  • You will never play professional basketball.

  • You swear very well.

  • At least one of your cousins holds political office.

  • You think you sing very well.

  • You have no idea how to make a long story short

  • You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.

  • There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.

  • Much of your food was boiled.

  • You have never hit your head on the ceiling.

  • You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.

  • You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

  • You're, therefore, poetic a lot.

  • You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.

  • Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.

  • Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.

  • Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary ... and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.

  • Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.

  • You don't know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

  • You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.

  • "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge".

  • You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.

  • There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

  • You are, or know someone, named "Murph".

  • If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.

  • You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

  • Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.

  • And last but not least...,being Irish means... that your attention span is so short that ---oh, forget it.


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