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Dear Webby
Grandpa plays favorites

Dear Webby,

My father-in-law shows great preference to our son over our daughter - to the extent that he will call him his favorite.

My husband said he is just so happy to have a grandson after three granddaughters. I feel real bad for my daughter who tries very hard to warm up to him. I even think our son is uncomfortable.

My husband said it is healthy for a boy to have a grandfather to bond with. I hate to see him coming. Other than this, he is a very nice man.

Feeling bad for daughter

Dear Feeling Bad,

Stop feeling bad and do something!

This is totally unacceptable. Webby is happy for him that he has a grandson but if he wants to continue to see him he will have to grow up and act like a grandfather to both of your children.

Granted there are some things guys like to do and talk about that might bore the women. If he and your husband want to go to a game, play golf or whatever with the favored son, and if your daughter isn't interested so be it.

That's the day you and grandmother should do things with granddaughter. But this should not be the routine.

In this day and age many girls like to do a lot of things the guys do and vice versa. Could turn out that she and granddad have more in common than he thinks.

Regardless, you and or your husband (I have a feeling he will listen to him better) need to have a talk with him.

Give him the benefit of the doubt; perhaps he doesn't realize that in giving all the attention to your son he is hurting his granddaughter. He is never to call any of his grandchildren his favorite.

However if he laughs it off or continues to show the preference he should be out of the picture.

No child needs to be ignored or treated badly, especially by their grandparents. You have a responsibility to see that it doesn't happen.

Good luck,


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