Advice from Dear Webby
Doesn't want to Winter in Florida

Dear Webby,

My retired husband is starting to make plans for us to spend the winter in Florida. I HATE Florida, and the thought of several months there makes me sick. We went last year and missed Thanksgiving, Christmas and the winter season. I especially miss my children and grandchildren.

He thinks as soon as the weather gets bad for golf (his first love) we have to go south. I don't play golf and have no friends down there.

Signed: Florida Golf Widow

Dear Florida,

This is a problem that Webby hears often. The husband, now retired, feels only he earned the golden years and it is his due. WRONG!!!!

You both worked hard to get to this point in life and you both should enjoy it.

Can you compromise, and leave the 2nd of January (many people do) giving you some winter weather, and the holidays with family and friends?

Can you get him involved in the excitement and planning of the holidays or other winter events? Maybe join a bowling league or card club so he is not feeling lost and away from the action?

The object is to have him enjoy the fall and early winter season too. We get so involved in the things we always do like holiday shopping, baking, and decorating that we forget that our roles have changed somewhat. Would he be willing to write the holiday cards or decorate the yard?

If you end up in Florida (all winter or after Jan 1st), try to enjoy it. The old technique of acting as if you enjoy it may make you actually have a good time.

Have you tried golf? Some women first try it later in life and now enjoy it as much as the men. Try and make friends with other women in the same boat. Bring your hobbies down with you. Join a book club or church organization. Take walks along the beach.

Think of it as a life style for 3 or 4 months not as a sentence hanging over your head for the other 9 months. Call home often.

Take a laptop down with you or go to the library and visit with family and friends via the computer. You can send pictures back and forth and you can always keep current on what's happening at home by looking at ClevelandSeniors.Com

It's your husbands place to make you feel as welcome and comfortable in Florida as you do in Cleveland (well almost as much). You both have your work cut out for you…enjoy yourself, you are luckier than you think.

Good luck,