Let me explain why I celebrate my wedding anniversary even though my husband is deceased.
So many of my friends try to ignore the day or spend it in sadness looking at old wedding pictures and thinking back over the past. That's fine if that's your style, however it's not mine.
Recently I was with a group of friends. Someone mentioned their wedding anniversary was coming up. I said, "So is mine." A sigh came over the room and everyone seemed sad and uncomfortable. I explained that my children and I were going to dinner and to lighten the mood said, "Hey, I'm still here."
The sighs grew heavier and eyes rolled.
I explained that on that date, I married, changed my name and began and dedicated myself to this family. Sadly my husband was called to heaven but I know he watches over us from above and is still part of this family (I count on it).
I do not go crazy and party and there's no gifts, but my children and I use the day to go to dinner (hey, they wouldn't be here without that wedding day!). We toast my husband up there and know he is with us. If nothing else it's a good excuse for a family dinner out.
I always wondered why Hallmark or some greeting card company doesn't make a card for widows and widowers on their anniversary. They have them for every other day imaginable.
Many years ago my dear friend's husband died six months before their anniversary. I will always remember their wedding date, as it is the same as my daughter's birthday. I called and told her I knew this was a hard and special day and just wanted her to know I was thinking about her.
She was so pleased; none of her children or other friends called or acknowledged it. It was as if it never happened. We had a long enjoyable talk and I made it a point to always call her on that date.
My mother, as she aged, sometimes had to be reminded that because of this date and her commitment to this family my brothers and I, as well as her grandchildren are here. She was always excited and happy to talk about it.
It's great if your spouse lives a long life and you continue to be able to celebrate together. However odds are someday one of you will be looking down and happy to know that this date still is important.
I guess I'm sentimental in a different way than most (not all). I always add a special prayer on dates I know are important to the people I love, whether they're still down here or above.
I am not a romantic and do not go for the gussy stuff. But stop caring because they've moved on?? Never.
And to upset you downers even more - "anything for a good time."
I hate sadness and memories make me sad. I keep the people upstairs in my present and they in turn watch over me.
What's wrong with that deal?
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