"January" is evil. Down-right evil I say. I hate it.
February isn't great but at least it's shorter and things start going in the right direction. After getting caught up in the fun and commotion of the holidays, "January" comes marching in with an amazing bang!
The evil month begins with the dropping of a huge ball. Shouldn't that have been a clue?
It's "January". It's time to get weighed and assess the damage of happier months, make resolutions not to have so much fun, clean up decorations and get serious. It's cold. It's dark. It's drab. January throws its dark shadow over us. Boo!
The only signs of life outside are people walking their dogs, shoveling the snow and children trying to wound one another with snow balls. (Look out kids! Big Brother is watching and fun in the snow may soon be outlawed.) No one sits on their porch or patio. "January" would kill them.
A lot of us "chickens" give up driving in this weather, but we must keep running the car motors or "January" will destroy the battery!
Our office is on a main street in Cleveland. The plows take great pleasure in pushing the snow over the sidewalk and smack up against "The Door." Yesterday, we had to park on the street.
My son was helping me climb the newly created Mt. Everest and get to the narrow path leading to "The Door." As I'm hanging on to him with one hand and my cane with the other, I noticed traffic had stopped. Thinking they thought I was trying to cross the street I yelled to them, while swinging my cane trying to let them know it was okay to drive on.
They ignored the waving cane and yelling crazy old lady. It was an interesting show and they probably felt safe because on the other side was my life line (son) or to them, my handler. When I reached "The Door" I turned and bowed to them to indicate the show was over and traffic again began to move.
This week the water pipes broke in our office, flooding and making a skating rink out of a large part of the floor. January is evil.
In October, we tested our snow blower and it worked fine. Then "January" moved in with its first snow and the timid slow blower gave in to the evil month and wouldn't work. It's now in the process of being repaired, and not home yet. But don't worry fearful snow blower, spring is coming and you'll soon be fine.
I try to be positive as friends and family tell me how they are getting in shape, re-doing their homes, entertaining and enjoying the snow. I say "Bah! Humbug!"
"January" is evil - don't let it fool you.
Sit by the fire. Doze off if you'd like. Cuddle up with an afghan. Enjoy a hot drink. Tolerate the 31 evil days -IN YOUR FACE, JANUARY! Give it your best "January"; your winds, your low temperatures, your snow and ice, your sunless days, even your colds and flu. In 31 days you'll be history!
I will trade January and February for any 2 months of spring or fall. I will even throw in the first two weeks in March. No, I don't want to move to Florida. I don't want to leave Cleveland. I just want some of that global warming they have been teasing us with.
Will we ever feel our toes again?
P.S. To add insult to injury, my birthday is in January, and who needs another one of those?
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