I was thinking about how a status symbol of
today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm
wearing my garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put
pictures of missing husbands
on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided
that it is when you still
have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for
folks my age and call
it "Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease
... that's when your
chest is falling into your drawers!
You know when people see a cat's litter box,
they always say, "Oh,
have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for
Employment application blanks always ask who
is to be notified in
case of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in
the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just
their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for
while they delivered the mail?
I was thinking about how people seem to read
the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they were cramming
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the