When in doubt - buy him a Star Wars book. It does
not matter if he already has one. I have a friend
who owns 17 copies of "The Wookie Cookies Cookbook"
and he has yet to complain.
As a geek, you can never
have too many Star Wars books. No one knows why.
If you cannot afford a Star Wars book, buy him
anything with an acronym in it.Geeks love saying
"Hey, George! Can I borrow your
PS2 to USB adapter?" "OK. By-the-way, are you
through with my PC2100 DDR RAM tester yet?" Again,
no one knows why.
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything
for his game system. A crappy third-party DDR pad,
a whacky looking joystick, or any game from the
Geeks love gifts for their game
systems. No one knows why.
Do not buy geeks cologne. Do not buy geeks ties.
And never buy geeks designer shoes.
I was told that
if God had wanted geeks to wear decent clothes, he
wouldn't have invented sweatpants.
You can buy geeks new remote controls to for their
computer. If you have a lot of money, buy your geek
a big-screen TV that can hook up to the computer
with an ergonomic chair. Watch him go wild as he
flips, and flips, and flips.
Do not buy a geek any of those fancy liqueurs. If
you do, you will have to listen to the many different
concoctions they did at the Microsoft Party.
Buy industrial-sized canisters of after shave or
deodorant. I'm told they will appreciate the efficiency
Do not buy geeks label makers. Within a couple of
weeks, there will be sighs because they will be
lamenting for the newest model with Ethernet and
modem ports so that he can create labels remotely.
No one knows why.
Never buy a geek anything that says "for outside use"
on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will
always stick it in the closet.
Good places to shop for geeks include Electronics
Boutique, Sun-coast Video, Circuit City, Fry's
Electronics, Barnes and Noble, and pricewatch.com.
(Online stores for "Lord of the Rings" merchandise
are also excellent geek stores. It doesn't matter
if he doesn't know what it is. "From "Lord of the
Rings", eh? Must be something I wanted. Hey! Isn't
this genuine orc hair? Wow! Thanks.")
Geeks enjoy stupidity. That's why they never make
mistakes of their own (*cough*) - but they will
enjoy others' stupidity.
Get him the complete Monty
Python Collection. Or point him to complaint pages
by AOLers. "Oh the thrill! The challenge!
Geeks love personal electronics. But never, ever, buy
a geek you love a laptop. If you don't know why -
please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets
a label maker.
It's hard to beat a processor upgrade or an
ergonomic keyboard. Never buy a real geek a regular
keyboard. It must be an ergonomic keyboard. No one
Photoshop. Geeks love Photoshop. It takes us back to
the days when pasting your face on the body of a model
was funny or at least desperate. Nothing says love
like Adobe Photoshop 6.0. No one knows why.
Author Unknown - but we suspect he is a geek.
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