Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and
says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches
and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born baby."
"Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Have a funny bone? Need a laugh?
Try these books:
Garrison Keillor's Plenty of Pretty Good Jokes (Prairie Home Companion)
Jay Leno's How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your Class)
The Greatest Joke Book Ever
The 901 Best Jokes There Ever Was : (Plus Quite a Few Second Best)
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