Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland.
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down!
4. Avoid a quick back swing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please...while others are preparing.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Well done... Now, flush the urinal, wash your hands, go outside and tee off!