For many of you it is "that time of year". You know, THAT TIME OF YEAR when…
- The lists of to do's are a mile long.
- The mall is a mess but you need to be there.
- You have 10 parties to attend in the next 5 days.
- There is a pile of cards on your kitchen table that all need addresses (and perhaps they even need to be written.)
- There are special meals to prepare.
- There are parties to throw.
- There are large groups of people coming together that may not always do so well together.
Welcome to the holidays!
Whether this is your holiday time of year or you celebrate at another time, we can all relate to those times when there is so much to do and seemingly not enough time to do it.
We can all relate to the idea of spending time with people, whether family or friends that perhaps get on our nerves, tire us out, or tend to create frustration or conflict.
So many people take the frenzy and the frustration as a necessary evil of the season and today I would like to challenge this notion.
Instead of the holidays "happening" to you, the flurry of activity and agitation being thrust upon you unawares, this year you are invited to create your holiday with intention.
When I work with clients as their personal life coach, one of the very first things we look at are their beliefs, expectations and the "truths" that they attribute to themselves, the people and the world around them.
"Truths" such as…
- "My mom is high strung and it drives me crazy!"
- "The holidays are depressing."
- "There is no where near enough time!"
- "Things never work out the way they are supposed to!"
The funny thing about these beliefs or supposed "truths" is that so often people find time and time again that sure enough, they are right! They DO get depressed during the holidays and mom IS totally high strung and stressing them out and NOTHING EVER WORKS OUT!
People tend to think they keep being right because they know "the truth" about things. I would like to offer that as human beings we keep getting what we expect, not because we know "the truth" but because we do not leave any room for anything else.
Our point of view or our expectation of a situation or person or experience means that we are waiting for things to turn out the way we expect them to. Mom may have been perfectly peaceful all week but then the 5 minutes where something created an upset we are watching and waiting for it…"SEE! I told you she was high strung!".
Your personal set of "truths" or your unique "point of view" is like walking around with a pair of sunglasses that only see what you expect to see. Instead of blocking UV rays, they automatically block out anything contrary to our beliefs so that we can be right and affirmed and so that we continue to get just what we expect.
This works great if you have the perfect sunny pair of glasses, but for most of us our natural point of view may not be so rosy.
Which brings us to a special opportunity for you to create your holiday with intention!
This is your chance to choose a smashing new pair of glasses instead of throwing on your usual pair.
This is your chance to create your best holiday ever! Let's go!
Step 1) Describe it! If you could create your holiday any way you wanted, what words would you use to describe it?
Peaceful, fun, nostalgic, easy, effortless, flowing, meaningful? Pick one or two words that describe your holiday the way you would like it to be.
Step 2) Be Willing. Ask yourself if you are willing to be pleasantly surprised by your holiday and the people around you.
Without a space for allowing something new you will never get it. If you are determined to have a rough time then there is no room for your new experience. Notice and acknowledge whether you are really ready for something new. Are you really ready for uncle Phil to be an absolute delight? If you are not, no problem… no surprises for you!
Step 3) Choose your best you! Choose how you are going to show up for the holidays.
If you want the world to surprise you then you need to do your part as well. To have your effortless, peaceful, memorable holiday, what could you bring to the table that would help this along. Put another way, to have your best holiday yet, how would you choose to "be".
Would you… "be happy", "be passionate", "be courageous", "be calm", "be fun", "be delightful"! Ask yourself if you could bring a "great you" to your holiday with intention, how would you "be"?
Step 4)Take action! Identify any obvious actions you could take to fulfill on your holiday to remember.
With this new intention and new point of view there may be some obvious actions to take.
- Perhaps you chose to be "bold' so that you can create an "adventurous" holiday. In that case you may already be clear that you need to call the neighbors and tell them to get ready for some carolers on Sunday night and that you like rum in your eggnog.
- Or perhaps you are choosing to create a "peaceful" holiday and you have chosen to show up or be "loving". As a result, you are clear that you need to get in touch with your sister, repair a misunderstanding and let her know you would love to have her over for dinner next week.
Step 5) Get Ready! Watch for your intention to be fulfilled. (Get ready to be surprised and delighted!)
Once you are clear on what you want to create, the best way for you to "be" to create it, and you are truly willing to be surprised, then your final step is to watch for it.
- Put on your new glasses be willing to experience joy in the flurry of holiday shopping.
- Be willing to see the adventure in a ruined turkey or the guests showing up 4 hours early.
- Be ready to find new things to appreciate and new empathy as you spend time with those who have traditionally rubbed you the wrong way.
Get ready to have your best holiday yet!
By using these 5 simple steps I have seen nothing short of miracles occur. Before you make one more sugar cookie or hang one more wreath, stop and take a moment to create your holiday and reap the benefits of an intentional life.