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Observations on Growing Older

  • Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are perfect!
  • Going out is good. Coming home is better!
  • When people say you look "Great"...they add "for your age!"
  • When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything ...movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.
  • You forget names ... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!
  • The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
  • You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf.
  • Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.
  • The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
  • Your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep".
  • Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
  • You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married ... Now, "I hope they STAY married!"
  • You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.
  • Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
  • You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.
  • Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?
  • What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
  • Everybody whispers.
  • You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ...2 of which you will never wear.
But old is good in some things:
  • Old songs
  • Old movies
  • And best of all Old Friends!


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