"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
-- Rita Rudner
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99
cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-- Joe Weinstein
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-- Gene Hill
"In dog years, I'm dead."
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.
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