Q. As a woman married for almost 50 years I have tolerated many things, pretended to like certain things and even went places, like a good wife even though I was bored to tears. I always said to myself -you picked him, goofy interests and all.

I can't believe after all this time I am about ready to call it quits and over what? Clocks. He has a new obsession. He collects clocks. All sizes all shapes and each one makes some kind of sound and a number ring on the hour (or half hour or fifteen minutes). On the few occasions he has them all set precisely the sound is deafening. But worse, most of the time they are off by a few seconds here or a minute there and then they just keep sounding off.

I know it sounds stupid, but it is making me crazy. Why is he doing this? Am I being a bad wife if I make him get rid of them? Is there anything I can do? Thank you very much.

A. First of all, you do not sound stupid. As to the question of why your husband has embarked on this new hobby, that can only be answered by him. I strongly suggest you ask him.

If this activity is causing severe problems between the both of you, he needs to be made aware of it.

I would like to suggest at this point, that it may be most beneficial for you (and him) if your concerns/objections are presented in a caring (vs. threatening) manner.

Q. Is it to late to change a personality trait? I am 64 and have always backed away from confrontation. I give in to things rather than argue or take the chance that someone won't like me.

At my age is there anything I can do to change that, or just accept it as my role in life? Thank you.

A. It's never too late to change. If your inability to be more confronting/assertive is frustrating, there are steps you can take.

The first thing I would recommend is to look into assertiveness training. You can do this by reading up on the subject at your local library, and "rehearsing" assertiveness while at home.

You can also look into an assertiveness training programs that are sometimes provided by community mental health agencies.