Q. I need to find a nice way of telling my children that I am not in need of constant supervision, that everyone forgets things now and then and to just leave me alone.

They must have all read the same book or seen the same Dr. Phil show because all of a sudden they hover over me and talk slow and loud like I'm senile or stupid.

I just had my 80th birthday but I'm just fine. How can I make them leave me alone without offending them?

A. There are two ways I recommend for dealing with this issue.

The first is to gather all of your children together (preparing dinner for them sometimes sends a subtle message), and in a caring manner, briefly share with them your "frustration" with their concern (having a prepared script a few days before the meeting is sometimes helpful).

I believe it is important for you also inform them that when the time arrives that you need their help, you will not hesitate to call them.

The second method is to write a letter to each child, sharing your thoughts and feelings on the issue. For some families, this reduces the risk of confrontation by the children.