Q. I hope you can help me. My mother is getting up in age -not old, just aging.

If I help her with things she says "Do you think I'm incompetent just because I'm getting old?"

If I don't she says "I can't believe at my age I have to do these things myself."

I don't think she's just saying this - I think she means it. How do I know what to do?

How much help is too much? Should I take her words seriously or just ignore them? HELP PLEASE!

A. Dealing with an aging parent in always a challenge.

The constant feelings of obligation and guilt can be overwhelming to caregivers.

One of the common struggles adult children have when caring for their parents is the "child ego-state" that adults revert back to, when in the company of a parent.

One of the things you might try is to enter the next meeting as a loving, supportive adult.

When an individual is operating from this frame of reference, they are less likely to be as "sensitive" to their parents (sometimes difficult) mood.